One of the worst things about this disease is that the suffers unfortunately lose much of who they are. He is still in the fairly early stages of AD, so these personality changes are not really recognized by others. Friends say "well he is old and that is how older people are", and that may be true. But I can see him slipping away.
My father and I were once very close, well we are still close but things have changed between us. There is a tension there that didn't exist before. Like I said I am an only child, daddy's little girl. Now that I am not only his daughter but also caregiver, dietitian, secretary, accountant, therapist, and mother; we don't get along as well any more and it makes me really sad :(
I am getting married next year and I really want my dad to be there. I want him to walk me down the aisle, and kiss me on the forehead. I want to dance with him to "What a Wonderful World" and have the whole room oh and ah. Sure he will be there physically, but I'm not sure about mentally. I wish I could go back 10 years to the way we were back then.